step 1 Don: Hi, Napoleon. Exactly what did you do last summer once again?Napoleon Dynamite: We told you! We spent they using my cousin within the Alaska hunting wolverines!Don: Did you take people?Napoleon Dynamite: Sure, such as for instance fifty of ’em! They remaining looking to assault my personal cousins, what on earth is it possible you carry out in times like that?Don: What type of gun do you fool around with?Napoleon Dynamite: A good freakin’ several-assess, what exactly do do you think?
dos Napoleon Dynamite: [Giving this new llama scoops from casserole along the wall] Tina, you weight lard, been get some Dinner!… Tina, eat. Eating. Eat meals!
step three Professor: Your knowledge, Napoleon.Napoleon Dynamite: The other day, Japanese researchers explaced… set explosive detonators at the bottom off Lake Loch Ness to help you strike Nessie outside of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of your own Nessie Alliance summoned the assistance of Scotland’s regional wizards to help you cast a safety spell across the lake and its own regional citizens as well as individuals who look for brand new quiet lives of your underwater friend.
5 Deb: What exactly are your attracting?Napoleon Dynamite: Good liger.Deb: What exactly is a liger?Napoleon Dynamite: It is essentially my personal favorite creature. It’s for example a good lion and you can a tiger mixed… bred for the experience within the magic.
six Napoleon Dynamite: [speaking about Deb’s whole milk] We discover you happen to be ingesting step one%. Would be the fact ’cause do you consider you happen to be lbs? ‘End in you aren’t. You are ingesting whole for folks who desired to.
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8 Bro Rico: What about your girlfriend?Kip: Better, things are taking very serious immediately. I am talking about, we talk online having, eg, a couple of hours everyday and so i suppose you might state things is actually gettin’ rather serious.
nine Napoleon Dynamite: Perform the birds has actually high talons?Farmer: Would they have just what?Napoleon Dynamite: High talons.Farmer: I don’t know a keyword you just told you.
10 [Napoleon has actually snuck tator tots out from the food place and you may is food them through the classification regarding his pants pouch] Randy: Napoleon, give myself some of your tots.Napoleon Dynamite: No, wade discover the.Randy: Get real, provide me personally several of their tots.Napoleon Dynamite: Zero, I am freakin’ eager! I did not get to eat *anything* now.Randy: [Kicks brand new pocket towards the tots, crushing him or her] Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Gross! Freakin’ idiot!
eleven Napoleon Dynamite: Stay-at-home and you will eat all the fresh freakin’ chips, Kip.Kip: connexion Napoleon, don’t be jealous you to definitely I have been messaging on the internet with ladies… *for hours*. Along with, both of us remember that I’m training getting a cage fighter.Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? There is the worst reactions at this moment.Kip: Try and struck myself, Napoleon.Napoleon Dynamite: Just what?Kip: I said come down here to see what will happen if you make an effort to struck me personally.
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14 [basic traces] Kid toward Coach: Preciselywhat are your likely to perform today, Napoleon?Napoleon Dynamite: Almost any I believe such as for instance We wanna do. Gosh!
15 Buddy Rico: Kip, I think… you know much from the… the internet? Your ever before discover one thing… such as date take a trip?Kip: Easy, I have already looked into it having me.Sibling Rico: Close to… directly on.
16 Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike are you experiencing?Pedro: It’s a sledgehammer.Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You’ve got surprises, pegs… lucky! You ever take it off people sweet leaps?Napoleon Dynamite: [Cut to Pedro jumping] You have got such three feet of sky the period.
19 Napoleon Dynamite: [while you are hitch-hiking] So can be all of you particularly Pedro’s cousins aided by the sweet hookups?Cholo No. 1: Simon![North american country slang for “Hell, yeah!”]
20 Brother Rico: Exactly how much you want to build a bet I will place a good activities more her or him slopes?… Yeah… Mentor woulda lay me within the 4th quarter, i would’ve started state champions. Without doubt. Definitely in my own attention.
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21 Kip: Therefore when’s grandmother coming back?Uncle Rico: I don’t know. Undecided.Napoleon Dynamite: You don’t have to stand right here with our team, we are really not infants.Uncle Rico: Ha ha! Confer with your Auntie Carolyn.Napoleon Dynamite: Kip is like thirty two years of age.Kip: I do not notice if you stand.
twenty two Randy: Hey, promote me fifty cents and so i can obtain a pop music.Bullied Man: I don’t have people, Randy.Randy: C’mon, I will pay your straight back.Bullied Guy: I don’t have…[Randy holds him because of the straight back of one’s shoulder and you may begins taking up-and-down with it] Randy: I am going to do this for your requirements…Bullied Guy: Don’t! End! Prevent! Try not to! Ow. Here, right here.[Randy grabs the cash and you may treks aside] Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon, who has come viewing, treks up to a child] How’s your own shoulder?Bullied Kid: Stings.Napoleon Dynamite: That’s as well crappy.[Napoleon now offers your an excellent boondoggle secret-chain] Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro gives you their defense.[Cut to next scene – the new bullied child are bringing their bike of a rack and Randy guides up] Randy: Hi, allow me to acquire your own bicycle.Bullied Child: Zero.Randy: C’mon, I will make you particular potato chips.Bullied Son: No![It still strive along the bicycle] Cholo Zero. step 1, Cholo #2: [drive right up within reasonable-rider convertible, that “Vote 4 Pedro” decorated on door. The new driver shakes his lead ‘no’ having a threatening browse on their face. Randy offers up and guides from the son. Brand new bullied man grins]
23 Kip: LaFawnduh is actually *the* smartest thing who may have previously happened certainly to me. I am 100% self-confident the woman is my personal soul mate. Don’t be concerned Napoleon, I know there was a girl available for you also. Peace away.
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twenty-five [Kip is actually vocal in order to Lafawnduh when they is pronounced spouse and you will wife] Kip: Exactly why do you like myself? So why do you prefer myself? Usually and you can permanently… I fulfilled in good chatroom, now our very own like can fully flower… Yes the world wide web is superb, but you, you will be making my drool… I like technology, although not up to you, you will find… However, We However like technical… Constantly and you will forever. All of our love is like a head regarding doves, traveling up to heaven more than… constantly and you will forever, constantly and you can forever… So why do you need me? Why do you adore me personally? Constantly and permanently…
twenty-six Kip: [Napoleon have Kip inside the good sleeper-hold] Ow! Ah geez!Napoleon Dynamite: What the crap is actually Bro Rico doin’ within my girlfriend’s home?Kip: Napoleon, release me! I do believe you happen to be bruisin’ my shoulder meats!Napoleon Dynamite: Good![Napoleon releases Kip] Napoleon Dynamite: What the heck are you presently males doin’? Tryin’ so you can ruin living and also make me personally look like good freakin’ idiot?Kip: I’m aside makin’ some sweet moola that have Uncle Rico. Geez, I believe your torn my mole out of.Napoleon Dynamite: Used to do?Kip: Yeah, could it be bleeding?Napoleon Dynamite: Slightly.
twenty seven Pedro: Do you think individuals will choose for me?Napoleon Dynamite: Hell yes! I would vote for you.Pedro: Eg exactly what are my event?Napoleon Dynamite: Really, you have a sweet bike. And you are good within linking with girls. Including you will be for instance the only son in school having a beard.